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30 and single

5 pros and cons of dating an older man or woman

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It seems like an age gap in relationships is becoming trendy. Many celebrities married women or men considerably younger then themselves. Here are few good examples: Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones or Geogre Clooney and Alamuddin with 17 years of gap in between them. It has to be mentioned that older man and younger woman is a more popular combination than the vice versa. Let’s discuss some key reasons why that might happen and the benefits, as well as shortcomings such relations offer.

Major pros and cons of dating an older man

First of all, let us figure out if there is an ideal age gap for a couple to date and marry well? There have been a number of studies carried out on this subject. Some of them show that 10 years age gap can increase your chances for divorce by some 40 percent, while the age gap of 20 years may almost leave no chance for a happy marriage and the divorce rate comes up to 95%! At the same time people of the same age or those with about 5 years of age gap have the best chances to stay together for good. Now, besides the aforementioned fact, what are some of the other dating older men pros and cons?


  1. Maturity
    Many women (even young girls) outrun men or boys in their development, both physically and emotionally. Even teenage girls often times start dating older boys and for good reasons. Those boys are more mature, they have some experience, they know how to treat women and they are more fun to be with.
  2. Serious relationships
    Older guys seem to be more ready for serious stuff. They think about getting a family, kids and settling down. In many cases the coevals may not be ready for such a commitment. So, if a lady wants to marry, she might as well start dating up.
  3. Money
    Older men had more time to get well established in life. There are lesser risks you take with them. Who knows how a young guy would turn out? Would he be able to provide for his family? Would his career go up? Those questions are mainly settled with the older men. By the time a guy gets 30+ he should have it all figured out. You can pretty much tell if he is a failure or success. This kind of stability attracts many younger women.older-men
  4. The past
    This one could be both a con and a pro. You cannot possibly get through life without making mistakes, being hurt and getting tons of experience (good or bad). If a guy learns from his past and gets smarter, it’s an advantage. But some men get stuck in their past. They still mourn their former relationships and partners. They wish to repeat the old love and that is one reason why they date younger girls. Or they feel so unconfident that they believe getting you – young and fresh can add up to their status. So, basically, they might be just using you.
  5. Sex
    Health and sex are two big concerns with dating up. If the age gap is considerable (10+ years) you should be prepared for some failures in bed on his side. After 35 many men start having some problems in this area and they may not be able to come up to your standard or keep up with your desires.

Major pros and cons of dating an older woman

Now, is there a reason why a younger guy would date a cougar? There are quite a few out there with some cons attached, too. Let’s take a look.


  1. Self-confidence
    An older woman is confident and self-aware. She has already been through a lot and she has no time and desire to go through all that foolishness once again. She knows who she is and does not compete with the guy.
  2. Independence
    Another one of dating older women pros and cons is their ability for self-support. Surely, older women are more independent financially, but that is not all to look for. These ladies are also more independent emotionally. They do not cling too much to a man, as younger ones do. They have their own life and let their partner have theirs. We are not talking about cheating, but rather about interests, career, friends, time, etc.This could be a con, too. If she has more money than you do and she (or both) expects you to pay for night out and things like that, you may not be able to take her to kind of places she is used to.
  3. Sex
    Most women in their twenties have no idea of what they really want in bed. Surely, some of them have tons of sexual experience, but that is not the same thing. Female sexuality and sensuality gradually grows and reaches its apex in their 35+. So, these women are really hot. They are good looking and they know couple of tricks in bed to drive you nuts.
  4. Kids
    This is something that could be a pro or a con, it depends on the guy. First of all an older woman may have her kids from prior relations. Secondly, she might be done with having kids. So, if a man really plans on having kids, he should honestly discuss it with the woman. In any case, this could be a problematic area and you need to work on it and be aware of it.
  5. Your parents and friends
    Your folks or pals may think it’s awkward for you to date an older lady and they may not be supportive. Still it mainly depends on what you two plan, how you act and how serious you are about your relationships.

As you see, such relations have both some significant pros and cons to offer and it is only up to you to decide and to make it work!