“First contact” or how to approach a girl and not screw up
These ideas would help you to get more positive answers when approaching girls. They really work, too.
How to approach girls – 7 best tips
The way you look at her
Your first contact with a woman starts with a look. You look at her or even may stare at her! And, surely she catches you at it. She becomes aware someone is scrutinizing her. She looks you in the eye and… what happens next is crucial.
Most guys make a mistake that screws them up on this very first stage. They abruptly look away as if nothing just happened and they were not caught starring at a girl.
That looks pathetic! Most girls would right away feel repelled by such a guy. Now, how do you react? Well, you maintain the eye contact, smile at her gently and approach her or wish cheer by raising your glace, if she is drinking something. You may come up and talk to her right away or wait for few more minutes and eye her a bit more to evoke more interest to you.
What if you have gone and messed it all up by quickly turning away? Well, look back right and laugh at yourself showing her she caught you and made you embarrassed, but you know how to handle such things with humor.
Be the initiator
Yes, some women make the job easy for men. They just come up to a guy and ask for his phone number and name. But that is a rather rare specimen of ladies. Do not count on them to boost your love life.
You are the man and you are expected to make the first move. Come up to her, start the conversation. Show interest, ask for her number or offer her a drink, etc.
Start a quick nice conversation. Hey, how are you. What are you doing here? Want something to drink? Nice start.
Genuine interest instead of chick pick up lines
What to say when approaching a girl? Well, being confident and using those silly line is not the same. When you say: “I am taking you on a date” to a complete stranger; you do not express confidence, but rather egotism. Many ladies would respond with a “no, you are not” to that.
Show genuine interest in her instead. Just ask her name, how she is doing, would she like something, etc. So, talk to her first (girls love talking) and only then show your interest in her and say that you would love to take her out sometime.
It’s a bit similar to the previous tips, but you do not need to focus on her alone. If she is there with her friends (other ladies), talk to them to. DO NOT flirt with them though, if you are interested in a particular girl. Just keep up a friendly conversation with her girl friend. That could make her more eager to respond to you in the way you want to.
Make her comfortable
Focus on the girl. Make sure you she has a drink or she is seated there comfortably. Some guys get so carried away trying to look and sound cocky that they clean forget about the girl they are trying to impress.
This one is very tricky. You really need to be confident in your sense of humor and its adequacy. A stupid joke can be a disaster. So, do not joke about her, her friends or her style. Never ever. You can use some quotes from a movie to joke or make a comment about the place you are in, but nothing personal.
Now, when you are pretty much settle with the things to do when you approach the girl, let’s get two short list of top three Dos and Don’ts of approaching a girl.
3 DO’s of how to approach a girl at a bar or anywhere else
- Be genuine
Do not pretend like you are here accidentally or interested only in the cuisine of the place or the best drinks here. You are out to meet a girl and she knows it. Stop acting as if girls were stupid. They get it and if you are not genuine, you may freak her off.
- Keep up nonverbal communication
Over 80 percent of all the communication is non verbal. That includes eye contact, gestures, posture, odors (good or bad), etc. So, better practice and check it all out at home to make sure you do the right thing in front of the girl.
- Be in good mood
Many guys say they have been saying the same words and using the same tricks, but they really work fine only when a guy is in a good mood. After all, you initiate the contact and the woman sort of reflects you. So, cheer up and have fun. She’ll catch it from you.
3 DON’Ts of approaching a girl
- Do not brag
Especially about the stuff you have. I have a really big and fancy car or tons of money. Well, she might think you are trying to compensate for what you do not have and that’s a bummer.
- Do not make a big deal of out of the whole thing
Yes, you are a guy and you approach a girl, so what? It’s a common and every day thing to do. So, do not even try to make it supernatural. Otherwise, she and you would feel weird about the whole thing. Just be normal.
- Stop being afraid of rejections
For one, the girl does not owe you anything and she has every right to reject you. She might be dating or even married. Or, she might have other plans. It’s no good reason not to try to get her phone number and name. If she says “no”, well, it’s OK. But what if she said “yes”, but you played coward and did not even try?
These tips and ideas would help you to find the best way to approach a girl and boost your love life.